Sat 01 Apr 2017

On the tip of the tongue – convenience wine-selling at your Society


Our Cellar Showroom opening hours (10am-6pm Monday – Friday, 9am to 5pm Saturday, plus late opening to 7pm on Thursday) are not convenient to all, and we don’t open on a Sunday, except in the run-up to Christmas.

Thankfully though, we now have the solution for those members who wish to purchase a bottle of wine after 6pm or indeed before 10am, should the need arise.

New out-of-hours facility at our Stevenage Cellar Showroom

New out-of-hours facility at our Stevenage Cellar Showroom

The Society’s Exhibition Vending Machine™, accessible via tongue-recognition software **,  will provide a vital ‘out of hours’ service to those members who live near Stevenage, but can’t be doing with grabbing an inferior bottle off an inferior shelf. It will certainly assist the author in no longer having to plan the occasional humiliating raid on his local supermarket whilst wearing a heavy disguise.

Members who do not live within travelling distance to Stevenage will be pleased to know that we will shortly be rolling out similar machines in major cities across the UK. Keep your eyes peeled and your tongues ready…

** The Society will shortly be adding a new layer of biometric security for members logging onto its website, which has been extended to this machine. Members will soon be asked for the tongue-prints using new software that will scan tongues from a user’s own smartphone. A simple lick will suffice for identifying that a user is indeed who they claim to be and that they are in need of more wine.

Ewan Murray

PR Manager

Categories : Miscellaneous


  1. David Ling says:

    Nice one Ewan ! A lick and a pinch of salt perhaps…

  2. Barrie Hinksman says:

    Well tried!

  3. Anne Cowper says:

    First one I’ve seen this April 1st & it’s going to be very hard to beat!

  4. chris madell says:

    Brought a much-needed chuckle. Thanks!

  5. Re the WS’s new Tongue-driven Convenience.

    Scintillating news from the WS! I look forward to licking my way round the Society’s fine wine section – once my tasting-tongue credential are registered with you!

  6. Phil Conway says:

    Unparalleled today. Well done indeed!!

  7. These wines will all be a suitable match for freshly harvested Swiss spaghetti, no doubt!

  8. Phil G says:

    Fleetway Travel have just offered me the first trip to space leaving in 2019 from Milton Keynes space station ! Obviously near neighbours of yours !

  9. Norman M Ridley says:

    Have you catered for forked tongues

  10. Malcolm Wilson says:

    Best one I’ve seen today.

  11. Ian Jeffcott says:

    Even at 10 pm and slightly the worse for wear, I got that realatively quickly.

    I do remember street vending machines for beer in Germany as far back as the 1980s with nostalgia.

  12. Dominic Rice says:

    I think there may be a ‘twist’ to this ‘tongue’ (tall) tale!

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